Play Actually Shapes Your Child's Personality

We know that play is under threat from technology, unsafe streets, parental time pressures and a whole host of other 'modern-World' reasons. The idea that we as a society are happy to just let play be deprioritised to the detriment of our children seems alarming to me, and one huge reason is that play actually shapes our child's personalities. Here's my brief overview of how:

"Daddy, you be doggy," enunciates my son several times an hour. I put on my best doggy voice and pretend to lick his face. He then talks to doggy and recounts exactly what is happening at this precise moment: "we're going to the supermarket doggy."

"Oh.." Doggy replies

"We have to buy cumin seeds because daddy wants to make a curry."

"That sounds good," replies Doggy (I have literally just told him this).

"Daddy burnt the onions last time didn't he Doggy."

"?!" Doggy replies alarmed (how did my son remember this?)

All of this shapes his personality. Think of personality words which relate to your interaction with others: friendly, polite, blunt, considerate, warm. Children play with these as and when they feel like it. Often they assimilate personality types they experience: the uncle who doesn't say much, Pam from next door who always ignores him, the couple arguing ferociously on the bus. When talking to doggy, he has a blank canvas on which to try out different personality types and see which suit him best. With subtle direction from daddy, he thankfully tends towards the friendlier, warmer end of the personality spectrum.

When it comes to real-World interactions, he is practiced enough in his encounters with doggy (and the hundreds of interactions he observes from his care givers every day) to know how to come across. Contrast this with a child who hasn't had any opportunity to play with personality types, and they may just feel that certain traits most people would consider negative, would be acceptable.

Consider a worse case scenario (and they exist) of a child who has observed interactions between adults almost exclusively on online videos, and it's clear to see there is a major problem unfolding in society.

Personality shaping within play doesn't end there. Consider also these aspect of a child's personality which will be shaped in those early years of play:

1. Cognitive Development: Through play, children learn to solve problems, make decisions, and think creatively. Activities like puzzles, building blocks, and imaginative games stimulate their cognitive abilities, leading to increased confidence in their intellectual skills.

2. Social Skills: Play encourages interaction with peers and adults, allowing children to develop crucial social skills. Through cooperative play, they learn to share, negotiate, resolve conflicts, and understand different perspectives, which can foster empathy and strengthen their interpersonal relationships.

3. Emotional Regulation: Play provides a safe space for children to express emotions and explore their feelings. Role-playing games, for example, allow them to act out various scenarios, helping them understand and manage their emotions. This contributes to emotional resilience and adaptability.

4. Creativity and Imagination: Play stimulates imagination and creativity, allowing children to explore different roles and scenarios. This nurtures their ability to think outside the box and to develop a flexible, adaptive mindset.

5. Independence and Autonomy: When children play, they often make their own rules and direct their activities. This autonomy fosters a sense of independence and self-direction, which are important traits in personality development.

6. Language and Communication: Play often involves verbal interaction, promoting language development and communication skills. Through storytelling and conversation, children expand their vocabulary and improve their ability to express themselves.

7. Physical Development: Physical play, such as running, climbing, or sports, contributes to physical health and coordination. This also helps build confidence in their physical abilities, impacting their overall self-esteem.

8. Resilience and Problem-Solving: Play can be challenging, requiring children to overcome obstacles and find solutions. This experience builds resilience and problem-solving skills, both of which are key to a positive, adaptable personality.

9. Cultural Understanding: Through play, children often engage with cultural themes, stories, and traditions. This helps them understand their cultural identity and appreciate diversity, shaping a more inclusive outlook.

Play truly is the natural language of children, let's let them speak that language as freely and as often as possible.